Well I have been thinking a lot about "us" where we have been, how we used to be, how I used to feel about everything that involved you. In time all of these things have changed everything between us. At one point I even hated you for so many reasons, I didn't even know were true or not. So I find myself today, almost two years from when all of this started, thinking "how can I let him go?". He changed so much of me, made me the individual I am today. For that, I feel as though I owe him. Don't get me wrong, he still means the world to me, but after all the shit he has put me threw I can never see "us" being what we were. We were truly the couple everyone thought would last forever. He made one little mistake, by breaking us apart over a year ago. Since that day, everything had changed. "Us", them, everyone. I looked at everything different, everything as a golden opportunity, knowing it was prbly to good to be true. From that day on, NOTHING between us would ever be the same. He thought I was immature, I thought he was immature. Truth was we were BOTH pretty adolescent. Not saying being almost 18 I am all matured, because that would be a lie. So here I am again, in a situation that is oh so familiar. I sit here typing away because I am so UNDECIDED. It seems that at once 4 AMAZING guys are thrown at me, but he stands out in a crowd. I don't know what it is about him that keeps me coming back. THOUGH there is that voice in my head saying "you know he is no good, no one will be at all happy two are dating, he is gunna treat you like shit, you are gunna be let down" So it is more of a fight with myself. Do i let him walk all over me, or do I stand up for myself and tell him straight up that THIS is never going to happen EVER again. That as long as we stay in touch and being 'friends' I will never be more than a friend. Then my heart thumps really loud and the other side of it telling me "he was the best thing that had ever walked into your life, dont let him get away" I guess with time i will see what happens, but for now I am stuck in a moment of confusion and frustration.